Yet resonating down the corridors of many a 20- or 30-something’s existence is the excruciating sense of being an ‘outsider’. What might start as a niggle of discontent or feelings of inadequacy becomes a slow-dawning realisation that for all the available social opportunities, for all the daily interactions, they are, in fact, lonely.
The sentiment of loneliness is not one that is exclusive to the un-married, or un-paired. While isolation can lead to loneliness, the former is not a necessary component in creating the latter – the image of the lonely housewife is certainly not a new one. But undeniably the rising phenomenon of the 20 or 30-year-old ‘singleton’ has gone some way to creating a band of society that finds itself increasingly alone, in a way that is more akin to segregation than emancipation.
Inevitably, modern methods of communication have greatly impacted on the rise of the lonely. Entire conversations can now be carried out without a single sound, halving the sensory stimulation typically associated with person-to-person dialogue. Travel and the endless possibility of changing one’s entire surroundings from one day to the next have also been of effect. While the breaking down of national barriers is commendable, less obvious is how to solve the ever-present issue of language – we now increasingly find ourselves living in towns and cities where a common idiom is hard to find.
Society’s expectations, however, have perhaps been the greatest culprits. Ours is the first generation that has been encouraged to create its own support network, while at the same time seeking out new levels of independence. While it is now widely recognised that a person’s 20s and 30s ought to be a time of experimentation, exploration and exaltation, there is also the steady understanding that it is also the time to dedicate ourselves to a meaningful career, a serious relationship, the creation of a ‘tribe’. In the West, a sharp decline in church attendance, rising divorce rates and the scattering of the extended family unit have all meant that traditional structures that might once have offered a sense of community are becoming increasingly rare. But in spite of these no longer being at our disposal, we are still expected to have a network, which we can rely on; a satisfactory number of ‘Facebook friends’ and a decent following on Twitter. The balance of out-performing our peers, whilst all the while befriending them, is a tricky one to strike.
Suffice to say that for many in the throes of their social and professional lives, the world is marginally bleaker than anticipated. As the technological revolution continues apace, diminishing the need for anything other than virtual interaction, might we be on the brink of creating the ultimate ‘Lonely society’?
