[page 1]
The Germans have their Ostfriesen, the English have the Irish, and the Lebanese have Abou Abed. An imaginary comic character, Abou Abed has been around for generations. He hangs out with his best friend Abou Steif in coffee shops playing cards and backgammon, recognisable by his brilliant red tarbouche hat and bushy black moustache. Their days are spent drinking endless cups of tea and smoking the arghileh, while telling each other wildly exaggerated stories, usually orientated around their sexual potency. Abou Abed is married to Em Abed and has a son called Abed.
Everyone in the Middle East seems to have heard of Abou Abed, everyone can relate to him yet, obviously for a fictional character, no one has actually met him in person. Apparently, there are actually two Abou Abed characters; one lives in Beirut’s Basta district the other in the northern town of Tripoli. Abou Abed means a lot in the Arab world. Abdullah, a Jordanian friend once told me: “He is a symbol of how to stay alive in our world.” Whenever you utter his name people just smile, without really knowing what’s next, but expecting to have a good laugh.
My own fascination with Abou Abed began years ago when I was forced to stay close to home for days on end. Lebanon's Civil War took its toll outside and it was considered too dangerous to leave the house, so we spent most evenings at home or with the neighbours. Due to countless power cuts, watching films or listening to music was out of the question. So, to relieve the tension and boredom my husband told us endless renditions about Abou Abed. It used to drive me crazy.
Two years ago, I decided to compile some of his jokes and to publish them. Daniel Georges, a Lebanese architect with a passion for comics and illustration, brought the jokes to life for the second volume. "Being asked to illustrate Abou Abed was like taking over a long established comic character like Tintin. In order not to disappoint his fans, the illustrations needed to be as funny as the jokes themselves," says Georges.
Abou Abed seems to be eternal and a survivor. What’s so fascinating about him is that he lives on with each and every generation and is still going strong today. He remains impervious to outside factors. War, politics or financial crises are never mentioned. He is a lazy chauvinist; he does not work and his wife is at his beck and call. He is always above the law, bending rules as he goes along. Somehow, we like the fact that he can get away with totally erroneous behaviour.
“He [Abou Abed] represents the guy down the road who we should know personally, but actually only know by reputation,” says John Barret, a British insurance analyst residing in Beirut. “He is a means of cheering us up in depressing times - as due to our own personal misfortunes we need to laugh at the guy who slips on a banana skin and breaks his back.”
[page 2]
Abou Abed and Abou Steif were sitting in their favourite coffee shop discussing Abou Abed’s upcoming 25th wedding anniversary. “What are you going to get Em Abed?” asked Abou Steif. “I am thinking of taking her to Australia,” replied Abou Abed. “That’s really generous. But, what will you do for her on your 50th then?” asked Abou Steif. “Well, then I will go back to Australia to pick her up!” replied Abou Abed.
One day, Abed came home from school looking upset. “Mama, when I was on the bus with baba he told me to get up and give my seat to a lady,” he complained. “Well done, good boy. I am glad that you listen to your father,” replied Em Abed. Abed looked confused. “But, I was sitting on his lap!” he replied.
Abou Abed walks into a cafe with both of his ears bandaged. “What happened to your ears?” asked Abou Steif. “Em Abed is away in the mountains, so I was forced to iron my own shirt! When the phone rang I accidentally held the iron to my ear instead,” answered Abou Abed. “That explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?” asked Abou Steif. Abou Abed replied, “Well, I had to call the doctor, didn’t I?”
Last year, Abou Abed decided to sell his car. “It has been a whole month since I've been trying to sell my VW campervan, but have had no luck!” Abou Steif replied: “Well, who would buy a VW campervan these days? If I was you, I'd replace the VW sign with a Mercedes sign and then offer it up for sale! Two months later, Abou Steif asked Abou Abed if he had managed to sell his car. “No, of course not, only an idiot would sell a Mercedes.” Abou Abed replied.
Abou Abed’s wife went missing. He went to the police station to ask them to find her. The police asked him for a description of Em Abed. "She's tall, blonde, with green eyes", explains Abou Abed. His son interrupts him. "Baba, what are you saying, Mama doesn’t look anything like that! Abou Abed shuts him up saying, "Shhh! They might find us someone better looking than your Mama!"
Abou Abed was crossing a bridge when he noticed a man in the water, obviously drowning and yelling "Au secours! Au secours!" Abou Abed leaned over the rails and yelled: “Instead of wasting your time learning French, you should have learnt how to swim instead!”
Abou Abed came home from work and found Em Abed and Abou Steif in bed together. Abou Abed was very angry and stormed into the kitchen to fetch a knife. “I’m going to kill you both,” he shouted waving the knife around. Em Abed, began to shake with fear, and replied: “Calm down, Abou Abed, don’t kill us! This is a big joke, you are on candid camera.” Abou Abed yells, “Enough of this nonsense, this is the third time I’ve been on candid camera this week.”
