A recent report has shown that smoking tobacco is the world's leading cause of death and disability the world over, yet here in the Middle East we have the highest rates of smokers of any region in the world. We put forward the motion that smoking is still cool, and then debated it.
Affirmative
Smoking is glamorous. Full stop. There’s no debate about it. Think about it, Audrey Hepburn, Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart all smoked. Those we idealised smoked, many still do. All this rubbish your parents fed you about “Not knowing the dangers” of smoking is just that, rubbish. They knew, they did it anyway. Why? Because it’s cool.
From our early days when our peers started to appear with a pack of Camel in their pocket, smoking has been a sign of maturity and individuality. That’s still the case. It’s a club, a club that measures your self-confidence as a matter of course.
Today, much of what of we do is regulated to a ridiculous degree. Our peers can tell us what to wear, what to drink (or not), what to say and what we should eat. Smoking’s a way of biting your thumb at authority. What authority am I talking about? Society.
Society tells us how we should live our lives, be it through cultural norms or by way of laws. Well, that’s fine. But I’m no sheep. This wave of health-Fascism sickens me. Microbiotic fads, pilates, yoga, personal trainers? Good God. How dull. Smokers stand outside this clique of body worship. We’re not following the crowd, we’re making a conscious effort to do as we like.
It’s this self-expression that makes smoking cool. It states that we fear getting hit by that madman in his customised Subaru Impreza than we are of cancer, that we’re not cowed by the latest fear. Cancer from mobile phones? Hah, try a Red. This health conscious world in which we live would have us live in hermetically sealed bubbles. That’s not a life, that’s a sentence.
Smoking makes you stand out, it’s an unbelievably attractive force. The image of someone standing alone lighting up their smoke, or engaged in animated conversation has seduced any number of onlookers without a word having to be spoken. True, the occasional person will sneer at you, but then they’re probably on day-release from their bubble.
At the end of the day, smoking is a personal choice and, provided that you’re courteous, no reason for anyone to ever call you out. That’s the key though, courtesy. A discourteous smoker is definitely uncool. As with everything in life, the issue comes down to class. It’s something you either have, or you don’t. Just as zealous vegans, health freaks, or eco warriors are bores, so is the discourteous smoker. Be careful.
My last thought on the issue is this: while smoking is certainly a topic that’s hotly debated, I know one that’s not – the obnoxiousness of the ex-smoker. If there’s anything uncool about my friend Philip Morris, it’s his ex-devotees.
Negative
Smoking has become increasingly out dated over the past few years. We are now witnessing smoking bans in various countries, restaurants, bars and other public places. OK, people moaned and groaned at first, but there’s no going back. Except, maybe, back into the dark alley behind the restaurant for several quick, surreptitious and very guilty puffs.
Over the last 10 years, researchers, pundits, survey-takers and others of their ilk are jumping up and down, shouting and proclaiming that the “no puffin' rule” has actually brought down serious cases of cancer, emphysema and other nefarious diseases; saving us a large amount of money in health treatment and hospital bills in the process. So what are you to make of all of this? That smoking is no longer cool? Gasp. That billions of dollars worldwide are, for want of a better expression, going up in smoke? What's the world coming to?
Well, to its senses, it seems. Lighting up, a popular habit back in the 1950s, is now on par with Swine Flu! The people you see walking around with masks on their faces are not just shielding themselves from the dangers of the virus but are also trying to protect themselves from menacing second hand smoke. Only, Swine Flu is more considerate. If it decides to do you fatal harm, it'll be quick and merciful. But even here, there's hope: most people survive Swine Flu, and go on to live long enriching lives. It’s somewhat harder to survive cancer.
So, after much thought and soul-searching on many a sleepless night, I've come up with many reasons to why smoking is now officially uncool. Health-wise, the mephitic smoke of cigarettes ails the human body in unimaginable ways. For example smokers have weaker bones than non-smokers. Don't laugh, it's true! Non-smokers also have warmer hands and feet, because when you quit, your circulation improves. (Handy on those winter nights.)
Also, you cannot ignore the notable stench of a smoker. The hair, skin and breath smell like ashtrays, day old ashtrays, making it harder for them to date or socialise. A survey in Canada revealed that 56 per cent of people would not date a smoker. Blowing smoke in someone’s face will not result in friendly flirtatious conversation, it will instead be the prelude to a slap in the face, literally.
If you’re one of the cool people who do not indulge in the nasty habit, you’ll be nagged less. We now live in a world where it's become almost our civic duty to harass a smoker, and demand that he/she take it outside. You'll be less likely to burn down your house, and can say goodbye to those little round burn holes in clothes, car seats and furniture. Ahh, the luxury!
Just like any other trend, this one is on its way out. Admittedly, cigarette ads are considerably enticing, the whole cowboy get up, and the sultry, rugged outlook has a persuasive essence to it, but who today yearns to be a cowboy, and ride the range, let alone ride into the sunset? Get a job, man! The irony of it is that the cool cowboy in the Marlboro ads, Wayne McLaren, died in 1997 after a long battle with lung cancer. Now that’s uncool.
