I first learned to people-watch in Paris. Coming from Amman, a third-rate city when it comes to this, I felt like I was thrust into the very epicentre of where interesting things happen to interesting people.
There are a few rules. First, don’t bother with the locals. All their conversations are banal. Unless you enjoy listening to how long it took the metro to arrive that morning. Second, the most amusing people to watch are tourists. Especially Americans - have you ever watched them interact with a maitre d’? But in my humble opinion, the tourists that impart the most insightful lessons are the unhappy travelling couples.
Of course, some couples are more than happy travelling together but more times than I can count, I found myself in the presence of those who weren’t. You can spot them a mile away. At a café bickering over where to dine that evening. On a street corner squabbling over whether they should have taken a right or a left at the cathedral. In a hotel lobby, with one of them (we know which) asking the concierge where the best shopping is to be had while the partner looks on with a glazed expression.
I came across one such couple at a museum. The woman looked really bored. Perhaps to her partner, she seemed lost in thought, admiring the Louvre’s latest addition to its collection. But I knew that look. I had seen it before. She was staring at the Ikea-style light fixtures wondering how they managed to get into such a prestigious place.
One day at the Café Flore in St. Germain I overheard a couple arguing over their itinerary. They were Lebanese newly-weds and it appeared to be the wife’s first time in Paris. The man was clearly a football fan – how else to explain why he was wearing a Chelsea jersey in Paris? It seems there was a match on that night but the wife was insisting that they go to Euro Disney to see the fireworks. Admittedly that’s not the only reason she wanted to go but it did make me wonder about how long they would remain together. I mean what kind of man comes to Paris to watch football? For that matter, why would a grown woman want to go to Euro Disney? Especially on their honeymoon.
It was in Europe that I learned that all fantasies about travelling in Europe – especially romantic ones - are shattered. I encountered endless women who were disappointed that their significant other did not want to shop And couples who couldn’t agree on whether to explore the museums and the sights - to hop from cultural hub to cultural hub – or just to hop from pub to club instead.
Having watched so many couples get it so wrong, I have a couple of tips that might help save your trip. And maybe your marriage (and sanity) as well.
Plan ahead as a couple. Spell out exactly what you each want to do. Pay attention to discrepancies. Compromise where possible (a valuable lesson for any couple). But if too many red flags come up, take radical action. Consider splitting the holiday between days for him and days for her (and no whining when it’s not your day). Consider travelling solo for a few days then meeting up to do the things you like to do together. Consider travelling with another couple. At least then when you hate your holiday, you can blame them. Failing that, there’s one last option for a happy holiday – go separately.
You can enjoy an Ayurvedic detox retreat while your significant other downs tequila shots on the beach. You don’t have to bicker over whether your trip ends in Rishikesh or continues to Muktinath. Nor need you load up on anti-nausea pills just because your partner wants to go whale watching.
Back home, reunited after a week or two apart, you’ll be able to share your experiences, your funny moments and your photos in the knowledge that your partner isn’t angry or bored. Best of all, you’ll both have missed each other so much, all you’ll want to do is have a perfect evening at home. Happy holidays!
